In light of recent concerns about post-graduation employment and the continuing societal denigration of the importance of the arts, the Faculty of Fine Arts has announced it will be changing its name. Effective April 1, 2014, Fine Arts will now be known as the Faculty of Experiential Learning, Lateral Thinking, Job Creation and Really Innovative Innovations.
“We all love the new faculty name!” says Guy Whyte, Minister of Excessive Grants. “Could you use a million-dollar grant?”
While some critics charge that simply changing the faculty’s name won’t make any difference, sources inside the government appear to think differently.
“Whoa, that sounds like a really important faculty!” says Guy Whyte, Minister of Excessive Grants. “How much funding would you like? We’ve got a few million dollars kicking around that we trimmed from various arts budgets over the past 13 years.”
Acting E.L.L.T.J.C.R.I.I. Dean Sahara Whiterock admits that while the new faculty name may seem cumbersome, it was actually carefully chosen by a hand-picked panel of experts who have absolutely no experience with the arts. “We looked at the various criteria of the top funding sources over the past decade and strategically implemented their key points,” says Whiterock. “After all, no one really reads more than the first page of these funding applications, so we thought we’d put all the important stuff up top.”
Graduating ELLTJCRII student & new BC Ferries exec Ineda Jobb
While the Faculty is expecting some outcry from Fine Arts alumni, who are understandably proud of their degrees, the reaction from graduating students has so far been overwhelmingly positive.
“My parents are absolutely thrilled that I’m graduating with a Masters in Experiential Learning, Lateral Thinking, Job Creation and Really Innovative Innovations,” says Ineda Jobb. “And despite having no experience whatsoever, I’ve already been hired into an executive position with BC Ferries. Free ferry fares, here I come!”
The news of the shift in faculty designation comes on the heels of the Times Colonist reporting UVic’s proposed name change to the University of SOB (Saanich/Oak Bay). Strangely enough, both names changes were announced on April 1. Hmmm . . .